Last night at the gym I was running on the treadmill and watching TV. Usually I watch a sitcom, because I’m a sucker for a laugh track and humorous domestic drama. They flow pretty quickly and cut to commercial breaks frequently, which is key, because if I get bored I agonize over the slowly creeping clock. Last night, the only show that was on was “King of Queens,” which is one of the worst shows, so naturally I had already seen the episode. Changing the channel, I settled on the “Dr. Oz Show,” which is like Oprah but deals exclusively with health issues, predominantly obesity, targeting the women watching every day at 5. Normally, I can’t stand these shows, because they focus on cheap tricks that lead to dangerous fad-dieting, but last night the theme of the show was literally, “The Lazy Girl’s Guide to Getting Healthy.” It was so dumb, I had to watch.
The show featured some woman who has made millions taking “your favorite recipes” and replacing the carbs with vegetables she calls “carb expanders,” so you can eat three times as much food for the same amount of calories as one serving normally is. By replacing fettuccine with zucchini, you can eat a whole pound of food! ….great? She kept saying things like, “and you can’t even tell the difference!” I’m sorry, but you can absolutely tell the difference between pasta and shredded zucchini.
It seems the weight-loss industry has capitalized on avoiding the real problems: the laziness that is as big a part of our culture as work-ethic was to our founding fathers. People would rather eat three pounds of zucchini covered in alfredo sauce than a normal-sized portion of pasta and...oh, maybe a side salad.