Jeff and I got back from our holiday traveling late enough last night where there was no way we were going to the grocery store, so today I was forced to buy lunch at work (the only thing in our fridge is spoiled eggnog and butter). I ordered a gyro for delivery from a cafe down the street because it is snowing and 6 degrees outside. When the online order form asked me what I wanted for a side, my mouse lingered over french fries until I forcibly moved my hand to choose a side salad. Victory. I was so pleased with myself.

An hour later my sandwich arrived with my side salad, and potato chips. Why?! Needless to say I ate the sandwich and the chips and stashed the salad in the fridge in the break room to rot. This behavior is not unlike how I have been acting towards food since that fateful day back in September when I broke my foot and shattered my dreams of running the B.A.A Half Marathon a month later. I stopped running, I stopped counting calories, I stopped blogging, and I stopped losing weight. In fact, I gained 15 pounds.

It’s January, and a time for making resolutions for the New Year. 2014 was a big one. I ran my first 10k, I fell in love, I moved halfway across the country to a completely unknown place. I broke my foot, I got a great new job, and made some new friends. I lost a dear friend to cancer, found out I’m going to be an aunt, and I’m going to have a new sister-in-law. There have been so many ups and downs this past year that have tested me and I hope have strengthened me and have made me more resilient. I can only hope I take what I have learned from 2014 with me into the new year Looking ahead for 2015 I am focused on only one thing: positive mental attitude. Think happy thoughts.

At first, I was going to resolve to be happy, but that is kind of vague. I want to focus on changing my entire attitude towards challenge. I am going to change my vocabulary around uncertainty to really work towards being a more positive and optimistic person. I have always masked doubts and insecurity with cynicism and humor, but it’s time to be honest, to think positively, and believe in myself.

In order to think positively about the persistent challenge of losing weight and supporting healthy habits, I need to be able to say I am really working hard. So here I am, back on this blog to remind myself that my health is important, and so is yours. We’ve all had a nice break from this commitment, but I think it’s time we get back to it. I’m here, I’m ready, and I know 2015 is going to be a big year for 2 Fat Nerds. Who’s with me?